There are some things in my past that I am not too proud of. One of which is how I treated my very first roommate. I was in a crappy situation at home and desperately needed to get out, so I asked this girl to move out with me. We had worked together at a daycare, gone to the same high school and church. She was a ton of fun and I thought it would be great. Plus, there was no way I could move out on my own. I was way too much of a scaredy-cat at 22. I hadn't even gone away to college, so I couldn't imagine being on my own in an apartment, even if it was just 4 streets from my parents house.
Well, we got along great for the first 6 months. Then she started spending more time with her boyfriend, who had moved out of town. When she couldn't spend time with him, she was on the phone with him, and the bill was out of control (mind you, this was prior to the phenom that is cell phones and unlimited minutes and free long distance - we are talking 1994/95!) We started arguing more, and she started staying away more.
Eventually my best friend moved back from college and moved into the apartment since roommate had basically bailed. I had gone ballistic one day trying to find her at a friends house to see when she was going to pay for the phone bill and got a good stern lecture from the mom of that house - telling me to grow up. Me? I didn't think I was in the wrong, it was her!
Years later, reassessing the whole situation, I can't imagine what she must have been going through. Her boyfriend is enlisting in the Army, she is afraid she won't ever see him again. Her roommate's best friend is making the moves on your room and basically plans to kick you out. I hadn't even bothered to tell her that when the lease was up, me and BFF were going to get an apartment together somewhere else. I just assumed she would go with her boyfriend. I was a major bitch...
Hindsight is 20/20. BFF and I don't even talk anymore - she got married and that was the end of our friendship. I have always felt like crap about how things ended with roomie and wanted to make amends. Well, Facebook can be good for some things. She 'friended' me and we chatted - and the first thing I did was tell her how sorry I was for everything, and that I learned over the years who my real friends were, and that I was sorry for treating her the way I did. She was like, "Girl, please!"
Well today, driving over the house to replace some motion lights, I saw her and her husband outside of their house, just 2 blocks from our future home. I stopped and she hopped in my car and we chatted for about 5 minutes. It was so good to see her and I am so glad that people have this amazing gift for forgiveness. It's nice to know that we are going to be neighbors in the near future, and I can work on rebuilding that bridge I once burned to the ground. Time sometimes does heal all wounds!
Wow! That's impressive...I had some pretty crappy roommates and I don't know that I could apologize to them. Seriousy, during my internship half-way across the US, I had a roommate with a flying squirrel that I had to take care of when she went out of town for 2 weeks!?! Then in the middle of my internship she was like I'm moving! Really? REALLY?!?! I'm halfway across the US with no friends or family, where am I supposed to go? I ended up moving in with a guy I worked with which in turn led her to start vicious rumors about the two of us...anyways, way to be woman enough to own up to your mistake and I'm so happy for you that you've got a neighbor that you know!!!
ReplyDeleteI freaking love facebook for just this reason- it has brought so many people back together. I love making ammends, there was a guy I treated very badly in high school and I too was able to apologize to him via facebook. It's a wonderful thing. I'm glad she was so forgiving, that's really wonderful!
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