Dog park etiquette

Tonight was a trip to our local dog park. We have been many times in the past 2 years with our new pooch. He loves to socialize with other animals and be chased by the other dogs, which is ironic since he is a herding breed, it should be the other way around -- our dog has never been normal. But that's neither here nor there and not what this post is about. This is about the etiquette that needs to be followed by the two-legged individuals who bring their 4-legged friends out to play. Some simple guidelines to adhere to, and we should all get along fine in this pooch-friendly environment.


1. Adults greet each other by shaking hands and saying hello. Dogs do not have hands and lack vocal cords. The way they get to know each other is to sniff the crotch of the other dog. It's not bad manners, it's canine instinct. You do not need to scold your dog for sniffing another dog's butt. Scold him when he starts sniffing human butt, that's embarrassing for all parties involved.


2. Keep a baggie on your person at all times. When Fido decides it's time to do a two, you realize you don't have a baggie on you and others are watching. So you go to the baggie box located on the fence for our 'convenience' but by the time you get back to Fido's spot, you really aren't sure where that particular area was. Now you look like the idiot who can't find your dog's doo, and everyone knows it. Yes, we all know exactly where your dog dumped and we are amazed that you can't seem to find that steaming pile of s....


3. If the rules of the park say no one under the age of 'X' please adhere to these rules. Some people have dogs that don't do well with children. Others have big dogs that run fast. My dog thinks anything small is his own personal chew toy, and if it makes a high pitched noise, he is sure to try and find a way to get the squeaker out. No - my dog isn't aggressive - he hasn't met a person or other dog he hasn't loved immediately. However, if you are going to bring a baby to nurse to the dog park and sit on the bench to do so, don't be alarmed when my dog jumps up on the bench to smell that strange, small creature you are holding. You see, my dog has never been around a baby before and he's just curious. Also, my dog runs - FAST - and when he's being chased for a long time by other dogs and needs a rest, I become "base." Ollie ollie oxen free! He's great at running full speed right at me, sticking a turn and coming to a stop right in front of me - not so for the Great Dane and Shepherd mix that were chasing him and took out my left leg and just about knocked me on my fanny. And I'm a big girl (look at my pic, if you haven't already.) Imagine if that happened to an unsuspecting 6 year old. I could just see it now - children dressed in Garanimal overalls flying in the air, dogs off and running, parents all pissed off because the dogs weren't watching where they were going... whah??? Dogs weren't watching where they were going? It's THEIR park... why must they watch?


4. The dog park is not a place for you to sit your butt on a chair and ignore your dog. If the park is big enough that you cannot see your dog from where you are, go and find your animal. I don't need to be constantly chasing off the over-excited dominatrix who likes to hump my dog. It's not my responsibility to correct your dog's dominant behavior - that is your job. My dog has learned his name and the word 'come' so that the second he is out of sight I can call him back to me. It's called training and obedience... try it.


5. Please do not wear clean, neat clothes to the dog park. You will be mad when my dog jumps up to give you a kiss when you comment to him what a pretty boy he is. That's just what he does. I know, I know, training, try it, I just said that...I have been training for 3 years! What can I say, my dog loves people and will kiss them to let them know it. And if that means muddy paw prints on your blazer, too bad, you should't have made eye contact with my dog!


6. Don't be mad when you bring a ball/Frisbee/toy to the park to play with your dog and another dog gets in on the game. It's going to happen. It's called sharing. If you don't like it, go back to kindergarten and learn that lesson again. Besides, what did you expect? All the other dogs to ignore the cool toy? Sha - like that's going to happen...


7. Be sure to provide a bowl of water for your dog. With all the running, dogs are sure to get parched, and I'm tired of constantly having to be the community provider of water for everyone's canines just because I remembered water for mine. I don't care if other dogs drink out of my dog's bowl as long as I see that there are plenty of other bowls to go around. I just think it's pretty rude when I put down a bowl for my dog and he can't even get a drink because your dehydrated mutt is hogging the juice. Unfair! Go talk to your two-legged human about their lack of concern for your well-being and leave my baby's elixir alone!


8. Don't be a doggy racist! Just because a pit bull has come into the park does not mean it's going to be a problem. I have seen some of the sweetest, kindest, friendliest pit bulls at the dog park. Just tonight I saw a beautiful Old English Sheepdog coming in, and I thought "beautiful dog" until it bullied my dog so badly that mine wouldn't leave my side. Every time my dog tried to run, the sheepdog would jump on his back and try to bite him on the neck. It was ridiculous! The owner kept saying - 'she's so hyper, look how hyper she is!' More like "What a big BULLY!" The look my dog gave me clearly said - 'make it stop, Mom...' It broke my heart.


9. Know the number for the park ranger. Regardless of how well you follow the rules, there will always be someone who doesn't and makes the park unsafe for others. Take your cell phone with you and keep the number stored in it and make the call if you feel you need to. Better to be safe than sorry.